Edges of Knowledge

Am here beginning a project which may take a long time    
to complete.  It is an abridged version of an unplanned  
online autobiography I named Edges of Knowledge.  Begun
on Friday December 8th in 2000, it sporadically persisted
for about six years.  That was in an Internet space I no
longer use.  I would not have left, but I was forced out
by external-to-it circumstances.                          
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[ Note: 2008-02-13 - - - Am aborting this project in this space.
        However, what is here will stay here. ]
                                                            
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Tomorrow is Saturday, December ninth, and one place I
have committed to be wants me to think of 10 goals I yet
entertain.  Remember, I am 59.  Okay, I know this won't
be easy.  Let's see:                                    
               1) to grow spiritually                  
               2) to grow mentally                      
               3) to heal my traumitized self-image     
               4) to find inspiriting gainful employment
               5) to render to Caesar what is Caesar's    
               6) to use and deepen my writing talents    
               7) to write at least one loved song lyric
               8) to finish placing online 1976: my      
                    bicentennial year challenge sequence   
                    of 366 sonnets                           
               9) to keep my online Brian's Brain/ Daily Log
                    active/ until I die                          
             10) to inhabit the stars                             
-                                                                  
Today is Monday, December 18th, closing in on 7:30pm.
Last night I wrote what I am titling now "Silent Song":   
it had been coming to me grudgingly ever since my      
December 8th goals list.  I cannot say it satisfies     
goal 7, but I can say it does deeply satisfy me.        
-                                                       
Today is Saturday, December 23rd, nearing 8:50pm.     
Today's saint is St. John of Kanty.  Look him up.          
You have heard it said: "How mysterious are the ways    
of God!"  I say: How uncanny!  Today at Chick-fil-A   
my humble, physical work was again edged with frustra-
tions and difficulties  I did not always quietly deal  
with.  St. John of Kanty.  Search him out.              
.                                                       
Christmas at Greccio.                                    
-                                                      
Sunday, December 24th, late.                            
.                                                    
Before one can be, one must first desire to be,        
and then must sacrifice, must "perpetually" learn.
See deeply--
ahead and within.  Actuate.  Create.  Rejuvenate.     
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~                                        
Help! Help! I am an underachiever of the worst kind.
              Brian Salchert
.                                                     
The above (in a different form) was written on the    
inside of the back cover of The Psychologist's    
Book of Self-Tests, Louis Janda, Ph.D., author,     
1996, The Berkley Publishing Group, publisher.
..                                                   
my 1962 sonnet to Shakespeare           
-                                                        
Monday, December 25th, about 9:40am.                 
.                                                
Two truths about love:                             
    1) If your love for another is such that       
          you feel you must possess that person,    
          your love is evil.                         
    2) You cannot say you love someone if you       
          are not willing to let that person go.     
5-6-97  4:22am  Brian Salchert
-                                                          
Monday 01/01/01 10pm                                            
.                                               
Since so often when suddenly frustrated                
I revert to using unholy expletives,           
why, God, do you even want to tinker          
with me?  I see no way I can be fixed.          
I am just a perennial failure, and that          
is that.  Oh, yes, I will keep trying    
to do what is right, what pleases You;              
but my inability to be perfect, I am           
afraid, will always raise the reptile          
in me.  It has gotten so I do not know       
whether to laugh or cry about it, God.               
Oh, for a gentle breeze, a quiet walk.                    
-                                                   
Friday 01/19/01 7:45am                                 
.                                                        
Each moment can be a prayer.                 
Each moment could be a prayer,                        
if each moment each of us                           
were able to be so aware.                                 
-                                                       
Friday 01/26/01 9:10pm                              
.                                                 
Somewhere among the cinder blocks of destiny           
a lone eagle courses through a rivered canyon.                 
-                                                   
Tuesday 04/03/01 5:12pm                       
.                                               
If there's a way,                                    
a right way                                          
for me to go,                                       
let me find it.                                          
-                                                             
Friday 6/8/01                                  
.                                                           
               Reality.                                 
               Reality, Brian.                      
               Do you know what it is?                          
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See Directory2007 in Catmap.                                 
                                                            
                                                      
© 2007 Brian Salchert                                     
                                                            
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Rho00025