Saturday, February 23, 2008

brians brain p2

Monday 27NOV00 - Today's saint: Francesco Antonio Fasani. The first sentence in the "Comment" about him reads: "Eventually we become what we choose." On Thanksgiving I wrote a small prayer to God in which I said: Be for each each given moment what each most needs. Months ago I had a notion in my head that I would open a business in BizLand. So I tried this and that approach, at last settling on a strange idea (much of which I now plan to share here); but I was never able to get myself to open that business, nor do I--from the vantage of this moment--ever expect to open a business anywhere. Hopefully, later today I will be back to enter here the essentials from my Ring: Atrium III misadventure. * * * The following is Atrium III. 08/01/04, thinking lizard * o-ib WELL? > > > > ! ! ! > > > COME. Come/ into the Mad Man's Message Mine. It's dark. ~ 1) From Ibnar's Journals (a certain meandering) 2) Hear a Word (odd occurrences like fireflies) 3) Just a Few Gatherings (things stumbeld upon) 4) Klick/ Wip/ Vink (you're in you're out/ cave) 5) Inside the Shell (by the hummingbird's wings) ~ Though this be a cave, a dark place where a mad man mutters, it is yet in a realm, a kingdom, a domain, which is Atrium III of, a meeting space where light enters, clear and warm. > from ibnar's journals (a certain meandering) ~ Hello! Did you see my wall paintings? Oh, I'm sorry, my lantern's not lit. Stay though. Have you ever been in a place where it seemed there would never again be anyone else but you? Out in the vling/ vling/ vling/ zingo, time swooms while the neon dances hold our eyes; but if we're players in that flux, we glance at our watches and hurry on. Yet here where one's aloneness becomes more obvious, or there where one's aloneness is easily hid, reflection speaks. And what does it say? To the hermit it says: You do need others, but do not let your spirit crack. To the lit-in-the-dance it interrupts: You are alone, but do not let your spirit flag. > hear a word (odd occurrences like fireflies) - It must have happened that a word so sparked your grey brain/ you drifted from your usual outer awareness to a charged unusual inner awareness. Example: doodad. Now, keying on the sound of the first syllable, how many meanings can you uncover that are different from the primary one: gadget: when presented with the question: What is a doo/dad? Pause. Of course this is silly; yet that doesn't mean it is without value. Many of the "silly" creations of humans are not only valuable, they are also necessary. Sanity is not for humans what it is for purely cyber beings. > just a few gatherings (things stumbled upon) - In this long, sharp-cornered tunnel, I have stumbled into/ over/upon many curious & catching things. One "day" I found a crow's feather; one other "night" I found a diamond stud; and one other "time" I found an hourglass/ with no sand in it. So long ago/ now/ it was/ I can't remember the whole of it, but there was a book I then there had/ named Maps of the Mind/ in which one map divided the brain of Homo sapiens into three-from-evolution ascending parts. Perhaps I will conjure them up one "while". Da Vinci, Du Cange, de Chardin. That conjuring, sadly, did not work. No matter. If nature or aliens or we ourselves don't destroy us, the brain of Homo sapiens will not far off/ and through the surge of creativity from its highest part/ open a yet higher part. Let angels abound. * Tuesday 28NOV00 - The first entry here is from my final BizLand page. It is a vision of sorts--a short weird vision. ** ** Everyone went to Hell But at the tolling of a bell Everybody came back out To have a cup of sauerkraut ** ** The last entry here is the final entry of an aborted journal. I have several such journals. Happened upon it a couple hours ago, and decided to reveal it because it fits the moment. There are certain thought patterns of mine which, I have found, recur and recur. Still, coming upon them usually--even while darkening my dim pride--surprises me. * 7-15-86 Lord, I have not the brilliance I would like to have, for you have not blessed me with such brilliance; and I have not the stamina I would like to have, for you have not blessed me with such stamina; and I definitely do not have the calm nature I would like to have. Would I like to complain? I suppose I would, but what good would it do? Lord, just move me to do the best I can with what little I have, and please teach me to be at peace ------ whenever I suddenly must ride rough waves of frustration. I am not a Jose-Antonio Alvarado. * ~ Wednesday 29NOV00 - Today I was blessed with emails from two extraordinary humans, Tom Montag and Aleta Pippin. Tom I first met, if I recall rightly, in 1972. It was in November of that year his Monday Morning Press published my Rooted Sky volume. Aleta is a new acquaintance. I am getting a newsletter she writes. If you aren't already reading it, I recommend it. ~ Thursday 30NOV00 - Just finished reading the J. M. Spalding and Guy Shahar Philip Levine interview in The Cortland Review. Do spend some time with it and interviews with other poets. - - In the 1980's I attended a reading Philip Levine gave at the University of Florida when I was a student under Donald Justice. Mr. Levine is a strong, earthy, yet tender poet. Toward the end of the interview he recounts his telling a young poet to avoid getting caught up in the literary networking, the push, push, push, encouraging him to learn and write as well as he can, but not to hurry into getting published, to possibly wait until he is about 35. He did, however, also say that being with other serious writers in a workshop setting can be energizing, can accelerate one's progress by several years. ~ Friday 01DEC00 - Because I enjoy writing, so long as I am able to write, I will do so. Whether it comes to nothing or not--though I will always try to use language in ways which resonate in the spirits of others, is beyond consideration. Perhaps I will not survive to 65, but retiring (early or late) was never an event I wanted, nor do I now want it. Verdi. - - Two statements by Chas Melichar in an Chat: "As a writer, you write because you can't do anything else." "Never give up on your passion." 2 Rho00035

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